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#22: If It’s Not a “Heck Yeah,” Then It’s a NO!

freedom of no Mar 19, 2023

Every day is filled with opportunities. There are choices to make from the moment you wake up until you rest your head at the end of the day. Saying yes to every opportunity simply isn’t feasible, sometimes you’ve got to say no. How do you know what to agree to and what to decline?


If it’s not a “heck yeah,” then it should be an emphatic no!


Marie Kondo is a popular Japanese organization specialist. One of her methods teaches people to ask themselves if an object in their home brings them joy. If it doesn’t, then it should be discarded, donated, or removed. In much the same way, your options can be evaluated and discarded if they don’t bring joy. There’s no reason to agree to something if you:


  • Don’t want to do it
  • Don’t have time for it
  • You are being bullied or guilted into it
  • It doesn’t mesh with your morals and values


In most cases, you have command over what you agree to. You might feel that you are obligated to say yes to every ask that comes at you, but are you really? Filter your decision before you make it. Consider these points before you automatically say yes to a request.


Point #1: Do I want to agree to this? Your gut may have a quick reaction to the option before you. Either it leaps at the thought or develops a sinking feeling. Listen to your gut and respond accordingly. If something is a “heck yeah” then it sounds like an easy yes, but if it’s not, consider rejecting the option.


Point #2: Is this the right time? An idea may be wonderful, but the timing may be off. Taking on too many commitments or agreements can cause problems - from financial overwhelm to not having enough time in a day to meet all your expectations. You may need to evaluate the timing or consider removing something from your plate if you agree to take on a new commitment or say yes to something new.


Point #3: Are you being coerced or bullied? Saying yes for the wrong reasons can lead to disaster. Feeling forced into a decision can cause resentment and broken-down relationships. Stand up for yourself if you feel you are being coerced, guilted, or bullied into a decision.


Point #4: Does this decision fit your morals and values? Moral dilemmas are the worst. Doing things against your values can feel upsetting and cause you to struggle. Confidently stand by your morals and values, knowing that doing so will help you sleep better at night and can keep you from regretting your decisions later.


One of the ways you can sift through the myriad of decisions you must make in a day is to lean into the decisions that are high value. Rating your decisions or funneling them through a filter can help. Save time, money, and other resources by saying yes to the things that energize and uplift you most.


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